Effective Church Communications

Effective Church Communications provides Timeless Strategy and Biblical Inspiration to help churches create communications that fully fulfill the Great Commission

Effective Church Communications provides Timeless Strategy and Biblical Inspiration to help churches create communications that fully fulfill the Great Commission.

Part One: Managing Criticism, practical advice for challenging situations

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Gayle Hilligoss PictureGayle Hilligoss, our expert columnist on the practical skills needed for church communicators has given us a 4-part series on how to handle criticism in the church office. Before reading, you may wonder if there is ever a place for criticism in the church office? This article will show you the one legitimate reason for it.

Part One: Introduction

“I thought I came to the church office with all the skills needed for the job. It never crossed my mind that managing criticism would be a necessary communication tool. But it is!”

On survey responses and in seminars, ministry assistants often express similar experiences. Precisely because it is generally presumed most members and staff are thoughtful and positive, an assistant may come to a church position unprepared to either give or receive criticism constructively.

We know everyone likes applause—and we would rather be encouragers than critics. Dealing with conflict can be hurtful. Isn’t there a way to simply avoid it? We could just ignore whatever bothers us. And hope others do likewise.

Not a good idea. Even if it could happen. Sometimes there is a place for criticism. Properly managed by a skilled communicator it can even be productive

Before Offering Criticism, ask yourself: What do I want to change?
The only legitimate reason to offer criticism is to initiate positive change. Criticism should never be offered just to express displeasure or to show superiority. It must not be used simply to express what you like or what you don’t like, what you think is right or wrong. If you can’t identify the specific result you hope to achieve, if you only want to find fault, you are not ready to confront another person.

• Can this behavior be changed?
Is the person capable of change? Is the change you want realistic? Some people are routinely sure they are right. Always. Regardless of how you approach them, they react by becoming defensive, angry, or distressed. When considering a dialogue, factor in personality. Unless the possibility of improvement exists, there is no valid reason to offer criticism. The good news is change is nearly always possible.

• What do I want this to accomplish for me/us?
Criticism can be extremely destructive unless handled well. Will offering this criticism increase your ability to work together well in the future? Perhaps. You may be able to show your coworker a more effective way to accomplish a task. You may alert her to behavior that will cause problems with a staff member. Done thoughtfully, criticism can be a catalyst for better teamwork. Keep your motives pure. If you seriously question whether you should confront, wait.

• Is the process worth the effort?
Is straightening this out really important? Is it necessary to correct this behavior? Choose carefully what you take on. The words of habitual critics don’t carry much weight: Who can please her? Hold yourself to such a high standard that when you do offer criticism it is taken seriously—and respected. Not every irritation warrants correction.

• How would I feel if our roles were reversed?
If you were on the receiving end of this criticism, would you consider it valid? How would you want it offered so it wouldn’t come across as an attack, as harsh or unkind?

Express empathy with the other person. Never give criticism in public or at a time the person is particularly vulnerable. Criticisms should be in person—not by email, note, text, or phone. Just as important as what you say is how you say it.

• Is there a better option?
Having determined that change is the goal, would providing a resource or training work better than criticism? Would positive reinforcement—praising good work—set the stage for meaningful conversation? Could setting an example accomplish the desired results?

Consider your options. Be creative. Understanding the situation and the person enables you to choose the smart approach.

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The remainder of the articles are available to Effective Church Communication members. If you are not a member, one of the best investments you can make in your skills training and your service to your church or ministry is to become a member. Click here for more information.

Part Two, Managing Criticism: Offering Criticism

Part Three, Managing Criticism: Asking for Criticism

Part Four, Managing Criticism: Responding to Criticism

Telephone Techniques Matter by Gayle Hilligoss

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Church Phone answering tips
Having a kind, professional person answer your church phones can be a powerful outreach ministry. Here's how to do it well.

With the phone ubiquitous in our culture the assumption seems to be “no training required.” Few employers provide any training for this most important communication tool. After all, who doesn’t know how to use a telephone? As it turns out, a lot of people. You have probably been on the other end of the line with some of them.

Rudeness, even dispensed unintentionally, is never pleasant but is often overlooked in some business circumstances. Sometimes we’re just happy to be talking with a real person and not an automated assistant. But, people who call the church office expect courtesy. Telephone manners create an image of one’s church, organization, or business—perhaps accurate, perhaps not—but nevertheless lasting. Nothing sets you apart from the crowd more than a warm and appealing telephone presence.

When you answer the church phone you never know what’s waiting—a simple request, an upset member, a stranger seeking help, a happy announcement, some tragic news, a salesperson. What a challenge! Without question, proper phone techniques should be at the top of the skills list for every church office professional. Be aware, callers may not remember what you say, but they surely will remember how you say it. [Read more...]

NEW Columnist for ECC: Gayle Hilligoss! First article: Business E-mail 101

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Gayle Hilligoss Picture
Gayle Hilligoss, founder of Success Systems, founding editor of PROfile newsletter and now a columnist for Effective Church Communications.

Editors note: Effective Church Communications is thrilled and honored to announce that Gayle Hilligoss, founder of Success Systems, Inc., a training and development firm providing resources to church office professionals, and a personal hero of mine and role model to me, has graciously agreed to share her wisdom with us in a series of articles on church office basics.

For many years Gayle taught seminars to thousands of church office professionals and her newsletter PROfile was a continual training tool and inspiration to many. Here is the the first of many articles that will equip and encourage you to do your work as a professional as you serve our Lord. Her first article is on email basics, something we often think we know well, but often make mistakes in that do not reflect the quality our Lord and church deserve.

but often make mistakes in that do not reflect the quality our Lord and church deserve.

Business Email 101

Everyone knows at least one—a coworker who copies emails to everyone, a friend who forwards every email crossing her screen, an acquaintance who writes in all caps, another who uses a signature with a slow-loading graphic, a neighbor who packs every message with smileys and LOLs.

The frustration of dealing with these kinds of big-time senders often makes us give more thought to the premise that all communication has rules for proper usage. Could we use email more effectively ourselves?

Some email essentials to consider:

Realize email is not private.

Never put anything in an email that you wouldn’t want passed along (probably numerous times) with your name attached. It could happen. Absolutely avoid sarcasm, criticism, rants. Email can last virtually forever.

Follow writing protocol.

Business email shouldn’t look like a teen’s text messages. Spelling and grammar are important. Keep your messages brief and to the point; stick to the subject. Make messages more readable by breaking text into paragraphs; leave a line between each of those paragraphs. Short, bulleted lists are effective for making points.

Use proper upper and lowercase.

ALL CAPS is shouting; all lowercase looks dismissive. For emphasis use boldface, italics, or asterisks before and after the word you want to stress.

Fill in the subject field.

Say what the email is about—not just “Hi” or your name. If you need a reply, note it: Reply Please. Keep the subject line short and specific.

Choose the appropriate form of reply.

Explore CC, BCC, Reply, Reply All; know how and when to use each option. Send mail to the person you want to read and respond to your message. Send copies only to others who need to know. The names of those who get CCs are seen by the others; those who get BCCs are not visible to other recipients.

Use “Reply All” only when all in the group need your input.

Someone sends you and 20 others a question—what size T-shirt do you want for the fundraiser? Reply to the sender only; no one else cares about your size; getting the mail only clutters their mail boxes.

Reply in a timely manner.

Business email requires some sort of reply generally within a day. Not to reply, however briefly, is simply rude. Copy the relevant part of the incoming message in your reply; by the time the sender gets your “I agree,” he may have forgotten what he asked.

Know when email is not appropriate.

Very important or complex matters are best conveyed by phone, visit, or handwritten note.

Avoid “cute” fonts, multi-colors, and graphics attached to your regular email.

Some programs don’t handle these well and they often slow down downloading. Likewise, use a formal email address for business communication; janejones@aol.com will serve you better than jollyjane.

Be courteous about forwarding mail to groups.

Ask recipients before adding them to any list you regularly forward to. Many choose not to receive miscellaneous messages—political, inspirational or informational alerts and the like.

If you forward an email that was itself forwarded to you, highlight and forward ONLY the message you want to pass along.

Otherwise you will be sending along addresses, personal notes, and probably several copies of the pictures and message in the original email. Don’t feel you must forward every message that tells you to do so. Much of this email is pure hoax.

When addressing email to a group, use BBCs (blind courtesy copies) and not the To or CC function.

Not only is it impolite to broadcast email addresses, but few recipients enjoy wading through a list of addresses to get to the message—especially if the message requires printing. By using BBC, each recipient sees only two addresses—her own and yours.

Get acquainted with Snopes.com.

If you feel you must forward a “startling fact,” check it out before passing it along—and do the checking yourself. Often e-mails falsely say they’ve been verified as true; you don’t want to send along misinformation.

Avoid attachments if at all possible.

In most cases it is possible to include all the information in the body of the email. Because many people choose not to open attachments, if you must send one—especially a large one—it is best to ask first. Formats and firewall issues can be time wasting factors.

Use a signature.

For business mail include contact information: address, phone, hours. Generally, don’t attach photos or excessive extras: logos, mottos, verses, etc.

Re-read before sending.

Readers don’t have the benefit of seeing facial expressions or hearing the inflections of your voice. It is very easy for messages, especially those written in haste, to convey a meaning not intended. By the way, remember this when reading email from others; if their words come across unexplainably out of character, take another look. Perhaps you are simply misinterpreting the message.

And finally, never address an email until the message is composed and proofread.

Establishing this habit will save you from accidently sending mail before it’s really ready to go. I can imagine each of us could tell a story about the message that got away before its time.

Email is a wonderful tool. Using it well is a skill every professional can and should master.

Part Four, Managing Criticism: Responding to Criticism

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Gayle Hilligoss Pictureby Gayle Hilligoss

• Maintain your composure.
Dealing with criticism can be stressful. Sometimes the complaint is off base or is the result of a simple misunderstanding. Take a breath; stay calm. Don’t offer excuses or become defensive. Avoid attributing motives to the other person. Communicate as the professional you are, demonstrating good manners and respect.

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• Use your listening skills.
Hear the other person out. Consider what is actually being said; avoid reading into the message what is not there. The person giving the criticism may not be skilled in communication or be sensitive to your circumstances. Understanding that, put personal feelings aside and focus on the true gist of the complaint.

• Seek to understand.

Regard criticisms as directed toward your actions, not toward you. Be mature enough to understand people see things differently. Another person can be right without you being wrong.

Some criticisms are worth a lot; some are not. Consider the source and the circumstances as you evaluate what comes your way, but be receptive to the possibility the criticism is valid and constructive. Give the benefit of the doubt. Being professional is all about learning.

• Be gracious.
The person offering criticism is dissatisfied and wants you to make a change. He may expect you to not take this well. Instead, exercise your communication skills by thanking him for bringing the matter to your attention. Remain approachable. Ask any questions you have; agree on what will be done and when. Leave him with an assurance you will follow through.

• Manage the “afterwards.”
We learn from every criticism. Don’t waste your experience; find the good and use it. Did you gain new information? find new insight? grow stronger in your interpersonal skills? Maybe the lesson learned was how not to offer criticism. Invaluable!

Regardless how your encounter went, show your professionalism by keeping the conversation confidential. Strive to perform with excellence. Maintain a cordial relationship with the critic.

What happens after the criticism is even more important than what happens during.

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Click on the links below to go to the other parts of this series on Criticism

Part One, Managing Criticism, practical advice for challenging situations

Part Two, Managing Criticism: Offering Criticism

Part Three, Managing Criticism: Asking for Criticism

Part Three, Managing Criticism: Asking for Criticism

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Gayle Hilligoss Pictureby Gayle Hilligoss

Occasionally you may choose to solicit a specific type of criticism. Seeking the feedback of selected others helps you evaluate your own work.

• Choose wisely.

Ask someone who has the knowledge to make an objective analysis and the ability to be frank with you. The person who praises everything is not your best choice. But, don’t ask for honesty if you can’t handle it.

• Be clear about what you need.

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Perhaps you need feedback on an article’s content and style. Communicate that. Also, tell your mentor if your draft doesn’t need proofreading (spelling, grammar, syntax). Otherwise, valuable time and effort go toward what you don’t need.

• Ask early.

If you have a qualified person willing to critique your work, put your request in as soon as you can so she can fit into her schedule. The upside for you is that you can have the feedback in time to make the most of it.

• Be your own person.

Most mentors understand, and you must too, that while you value the input, the decision about what you do with it is yours. Weigh the advice, thank the adviser, but keep the work yours.
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Click on the links below to go to other parts of this series of articles

Part One, Managing Criticism, practical advice for challenging situations

Part Two, Managing Criticism: Offering Criticism

Part Four, Managing Criticism: Responding to Criticism