Ed. note:  How sad it is that the simple celebration of thankfulness and the birth of our Savior have been transformed into a time of frantic expectations. Gayle Hilligoss provides some great advice on how to restore peace to the celebration of the Prince of Peace.

The comparison hit home with several office professionals enjoying a fall luncheon. “During the holidays I feel like I’m trapped in a snow globe of to-do lists,” remarked a longtime administrative assistant. Her table mates nodded. Each one knew well the sensation of having scores of demands swirling about her.

Conversation turned to ways they might weather the storm better this year. All agreed trimming tasks would be a challenge, but could be done. Some said they had already made strides toward maintaining saner holiday schedules and were anxious to explore even more ideas.

"To me, attitude is the key,” offered a pastor’s assistant who shared her positive experiences over the past few years. “I had to get over the idea holidays should be all hurry-scurry. What I discovered was that real blessings of the season are missed when every minute is packed with activities—even if they are good activities.”

Another reformed over-achiever noted, “The best thing I did was to take control of my personal  agenda. When I quit trying to bake every cookie, make every decoration, and maintain every family tradition, I found the time and energy to actually focus on the reason for the season.”

• Make two lists of goals, one for work and one for home.
It may seem like a paradox, but making these two important lists now prevents the  need to make lots of trivial lists later. Decide what you want to achieve during the vital weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day. About each task ask, “Is this worth my time and effort? and “Is there an easier way to do this?” Be selective; list only those activities and achievements that truly matter to you. Fun is important. Schedule some!

• Trim your calendar.
Pitch all but what really counts toward a meaningful holiday experience. Save optional jobs and appointments for another time. (I routinely schedule annual checkups for October to have that all done before holiday time; when Halloween candy hits the shelves, I hit my appointment book.) Avoid taking on projects and plans that steer you away from your stated holiday goals. Don’t waste any of this special time doing what can be done later—or not at all.

• Protect your personal time.
All year around, and especially during the holidays, give yourself daily or at least weekly private time to relax and refresh. Do what you like—walk, exercise, read, take a class, enjoy a hobby. Or do nothing at all. But, do keep this appointment with yourself.

• Forget about being a perfectionist.
Nothing paralyzes accomplishment, saps joy from achievement, and undermines good intentions like the irrational drive to be perfect. It is vital to know when to say, “This is good. Time to move on.”

• Be realistic in your expectations.
Memories, not to mention a plethora of magazines, can create an unreasonable scenario of what the holidays should be. The church offers many opportunities to celebrate Christ’s birth, the community presents scores of ways to share with others. No time of year has more to live up to. Stay grounded. Kids will still be kids. People can still be inconsiderate. Time and energy constraints hang on. Problems won’t solve themselves. The computer can still crash. Life goes on.

Nevertheless, expect blessings. They are there to be claimed. Enjoy!

Ed note: Gayle sent this introductory note with the article and I couldn't think of a better way to introduce the article: "My feedback from secretary friends reminds me that October is the start of so many things in the church office and the beginning of serious holiday planning. So I thought this article on avoiding/correcting burnout might be timely." How right she is—read on for ways to keep your sanity and joy in ministry  in the upcoming challenging times.

Pat is the assistant at First Church, a fast growing suburban congregation. After several routine jobs in large offices, she is delighted at the opportunity to manage on her own. The staff consists of the pastor, a part-time music director and Pat. Since she and her family are members, nearly everyone at First Church knows Pat. She quickly establishes herself as the one to call for information, help, or a listening ear.

As the congregation grows, so does Pat’s workload. Believing people are counting on her, she becomes reluctant to leave the office with any task undone. Staying late seems the logical solution.

Though she doesn’t feel good about letting things slip at home, she tells herself:

• The work is important; she owes it to the church to get it done.

• Her family will understand.

• Tasks are almost caught up; once they are, she won’t let them get piled up again.

The facts are:

• The work is important, but it is not the only important thing in Pat’s life. Nor is the work totally her responsibility. What she owes the church is her best effort during the agreed upon hours to do the tasks she was hired to do.

• Her family does understand—up to a point. Beyond that they see the disruptions in their lives as an unnecessary result of Pat’s over commitment to her work. They begin to question her motives. Does she stay busy at work so she legitimately won’t have time to do things at home?

• Pat may get things caught up, but it is unrealistic to believe they will stay that way. The nature of ministry is such that you never reach a point where there is no more to do, a point where if you stayed an extra hour you could find nothing to work on. To believe you must be absolutely finished before you leave each afternoon is to put yourself on an unproductive treadmill that will sap the joy from your service.

Pat discovers the more she does, the more there is to do. Staying late becomes the norm. Little by little the ordinary feeling of overwork everyone experiences from time to time becomes chronic with Pat. She finds herself crashing on the weekend and still not feeling refreshed for the week ahead. Problems begin invading Pat’s life. Unwilling to believe any are self-inflicted, Pat often feels helpless and misunderstood. Her body sends warning signals: frequent headaches, inability to concentrate, a loss of sense of humor. In spite of her physical and mental weariness, Pat does not sleep well.

Ignoring the seriousness of her situation and convinced she is only displaying an appropriate dedication to her job, she believes people should appreciate her efforts, not question them. Pat cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel, but it never occurs to her that it is because she is headed in the wrong direction. Letting go seems a more difficult option than hanging on. But a second year of unrelenting demands leaves Pat feeling totally disillusioned. A minor incident is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Pat decides not only to leave her job but to leave the church.

The leaving is not pleasant. The problems are serious.

Pat is experiencing burnout.

Her situation is not unique; burnout is an occupational hazard to which every Christian professional is exposed and to which many succumb—needlessly. Like Pat’s, most burnout could be avoided altogether.

At least six classic factors—all of which can be avoided—played a part in Pat’s experience. If you have been in Christian service any time at all some may seem too familiar.

• Unrealistic job expectations
Having no previous exposure to the administrative side of church life, Pat had an idealistic image of what being a ministry assistant is all about. She rightly perceived the work as ministry but mistakenly expected that ministry would always be interesting, challenging, have plenty of variety, and most of all, be appreciated.

She discovered ministry is sometimes none of the above. Ministry can mean doing the uninteresting, but necessary, things. Ministry can be far more frustrating than challenging. It is not easy to see the spiritual significance of stuffing 500 envelopes or bundling bulk mail, but that may be what ministry demands of you today.

• Unrealistic self expectations
Not only did Pat expect more from her job than it could deliver, she expected more from herself than she could deliver. In her enthusiasm to serve others Pat set standards in her quality and quantity of work that were simply impossible to meet. Striving to do everything for everybody Pat began to take herself too seriously. Placing such high expectations on herself caused Pat to give tasks way more time and effort than they were worth.

• Job saturation
Commitment to one’s work is commendable; over commitment is dangerous. You cross the line when work monopolizes your life and saturates every area of it—not with joy but with anxiety and pressure to do more faster.

Family life, friends and personal interests all disappeared as Pat obsessively gave all her time, energy and effort to her work. She could not separate her personality from her performance. Only if she did well at work did she have a feeling of self worth. Pat became her job. She was no longer herself but “The Ministry Assistant.”

• Taking on the responsibilities of others
By filling the role of rescuer to staff members Pat began to feel indispensable. She believed unless she picked up the slack for others they would not get the work done. Pat failed to realize that by permitting others to rely on her to follow through on their work, she promoted their dependence on her—and did them no real service.

• Unexamined habits
Any time you start a behavior it can easily become habitual. Because habits control as much as eighty percent of what you do, examine yours often to make sure they are serving you well. Once Pat began taking on more responsibilities than she could reasonably handle, over committing soon became a habit. Though intended only as a temporary action, given a little time, staying late became habitual as well.

If you act a certain way long enough it is difficult to change—even if you want to.

• A final factor contributing to burnout is an unhealthy desire to please.
Pat came to the church office with two misconceptions that shaped her work style.

First, she believed her job was to please everyone—which was, of course, clearly impossible. And second, she believed members and staff would openly and often express gratitude for her efforts—which didn’t prove to be the case. Wanting affirmation of others’ approval, Pat was reluctant to say no and endlessly rearranged her schedule to accommodate others. She refused to risk anyone’s displeasure by requesting help, delegating responsibilities, or taking advantage of training resources which would have pointed her in a more productive direction. Unintentionally, but effectively, Pat has set herself up for the burnout she is experiencing. Had she been forewarned she could have avoided every one of these traps.

You can learn from Pat’s experience. Think about the factors sparking her burnout as you  examine your own life—especially if you are beginning to feel a little singed around the edges yourself.

Part two of this article (notification of its publication will be  in our next newsletter) will tell you how to avoid burnout.