Be a better listener, part two: AIM, the three significant aspects of listening

Gayle Hilligoss Picture — Article by Gayle Hilligoss

Ed. Note: Last week we featured Part One of this series on Listening, where we learned in part, how to be an active listener. This week Gayle provides specific advice that will help you become a better listener. As I read through her words, I thought about what a wonderful world it would be if we all followed this advice.

Professional Secretaries International (now International Association of Administrative Associates) taught seminar attendees a technique using the acronym AIM to create a positive attitude for listening. AIM represents three significant aspects of listening: attention, interest, and motivation.

AIM: attention, interest, motivation

A = Bring yourself to attention. Poor listeners fake paying attention while their minds wander. The active listener consciously works to resist distractions and concentrate on the message.

I = Focus your interest. Poor listeners decide after a few words that the conversation holds no interest for them so they stop any effort to pay attention. The active listener seeks to find useful information regardless of how dull the subject or how unskilled the speaker.

M = Identify your motivation. How well you listen depends on how motivated you are. Here are some good reasons for improving your listening skills.

• Listening allows you to learn. Receiving information is difficult when you do all the talking. When you listen you can learn about the subject being discussed (as well as learn about the speaker).

• Listening allows you to make better decisions. Life doesn’t give us enough time to make every mistake ourselves. Listening allows you to learn from the mistakes and victories of others, and helps develop better judgment.

• Listening helps solve mutual problems and resolves disagreements. You cannot agree or disagree intelligently with the other person until you know his point of view. Once you listen to the problem as he sees it, and he listens to the problem as you see it, you can cooperatively seek some solutions.

• Listening may solve problems for the other person. Giving someone an opportunity to talk may clarify the situation and provide the necessary emotional release.

• Listening can reduce tension. Allowing others to express their viewpoints may help clear the air of tension or hostility. As a result of your conscious aim to listen there will be fewer misunderstandings; grievances can be resolved before they get out of hand.

• Listening leads to cooperation from others. When a person feels you are really interested in her and her opinions, she is likely to respect you and the church you represent. People respond positively and cooperate more often when they know we care about them.

• Listening helps you sell your ideas. You have an idea for rearranging and redecorating your office. How do you sell your idea? Try asking the person you need on your side, “What would it take to make our office more attractive?” Then listen and follow through on the suggestions.

• Listening can save you trouble. If you talk before you really listen, you may make a decision or offer criticism you later regret. You may commit to action you cannot or will not want to carry out. If you feel pressured to give an opinion, listen carefully and evaluate before responding.

• Listening gives you confidence. When you follow the conversation carefully, you can be confident what you say is relevant. When you understand the other person’s point of view you can be confident of stating your rebuttal. You may spot loopholes in the other person’s logic and gain assurance in your own viewpoint. When you gain a reputation as a good listener, others give more weight to your report of a conversation.

• Listening increases your enjoyment of life. As an active listener, you gain more from all you hear. Conversations, meetings, music, entertainment all bring you more enjoyment and understanding. You are more tuned in to your world than ever before.

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